THE HALCYON COMPUTER COMPANY

Headquartered in decorous downtown Claremont, California, the Halcyon Computer Company is a leading innovator and business parter for the High-Tech Data-Processing community. Our fully-integrated whole-matrix approach to business needs follows the 'Git 'R' Done' model of the Twenty-First Century, without sacrificing any of the robust iron-frame brass-button brute-force muscle of the Twentieth Century. This is where the Information Age meets the Space Age, and where we can offer, with pride...

Sixties' Technology....Today!/p>

From the hard applicability of the steam-cell energy management of the Halcyon Model 44 -- crunch your spreadsheets and brew coffee at the same time! -- to the cutting-edge theoretical improvisations -- the spaghetti-sort and bogo-sort advanced numerical routines can be found nowhere else! -- our products will fill both your needs and your sense of wonder.

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We specialize in flip-apps, slap-macros, honey-boards, whisper-docs, flimmity-jimmity, hash-lensing, appro-defting, neo-plug-ins, vertical-column-data-structures, content- addressable-memory, and hyphens. Lots and lots of hyphens!

Artist's Depiction of our
Corporate Headquarters

The Grim Reality...

The Halcyon Computer Company is a part of the InterTechniScam Group of Heavy Industries. We enjoy the full financial support of CoMericaBank Reliant, backed by the hefty pollution credits generated by the ChemMyriad Solvents Corporation.

The top of our line must surely be the gargantuan Halcyon Ostrich, a masterpiece of dispersed architecture using constricted instruction set chip design and multiple modular internet time-swipe CPU file-filching. For cranking through those really big simulations for scientific research, or merely looking for the next trillion digits of pi, this honkin' great gonkulator is the monstrosity of choice.

For large businesses, nothing can beat our PAN design -- Plagiarised Area Networks -- which depend on unsecured wireless routers in your neighborhood to provide connectivity throughout the industrialized world. Each network is bolstered with enough server power and in-building switching to afford every customer sufficient deniability and full legal protection.

Small businessmen and small women in business may find the scaleable line of Halcyon Raptors an exciting alternative to competitors' products. If you operate a nationwide chain of franchises, the Condor, Eagle, or Buzzard systems can meld your sites into one big slippery mass. If you have a fleet of trucks, nothing could be more serviceable than the Hawk, Raven, and Dodo network servers. And even a Mom and Pop adult novelty shop can really benefit from keeping day-to-day accounts on a Crow or a Chickenhawk all-purpose workstation.

Nor should one forget the kiddies! Our Bluebird game console, running such favorites as 'Rage Racer,' 'Ooh, Lookit!' and 'Squish the Squirrel' is an ideal birthday or Christmas present. Educational software is just another one of our many specialties!

Yessirree Bob! From the Woodpecker advanced techno-optimist operating system to the Talon memory chip-set -- it never lets go of your data! -- the Halcyon Computer Company surely has something that you can really use!

For further information, look on our web-site, A HREF="The Halcyon Computer Company, or write to us for an incomplete catalog, at
Post Office Box 15373
San Diego CA 92175

The Halcyon Computer Company! With the highest industry-wide record for first-time customers, and the lowest rate of RMA returns, you can't afford to buy from anyone else!



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